


But I'm a Magician

by mynightmarestays



Category: The Magician, The Magicians (TV), The Magicians - Lev Grossman
Genre: Alternate Universe - But I'm a Cheerleader (1999) Fusion, M/M, Oral Sex, Slow Romance, no magic
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-02-25
Updated: 2018-04-02
Packaged: 2019-03-24 02:26:28
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,083
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13801428
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mynightmarestays/pseuds/mynightmarestays
Summary: This it the Quliot AU you didn't know you needed but you do in fact need it.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Fae is the Fairy Queen, FYI

Quentin stood outside the house with his parents. So much had happened in the course of two days. His family and friends had cornered him one day after school as well as his girlfriend Alice with a lady name Fae. She was from a program called True Directions which was made to help people of a certain mindset. She was pale and had dark eyes but wore a solid pink pants suit. And it was pink.

They all gave him an intervention because they all believe he was gay. Gay! Quentin couldn’t believe them. They pointed out his collection of showtunes was not that of a normal, straight mans. They pointed out how he has Siegfried and Roy posters from their early career, sometimes pictures of guys around, how he wears track shorts when it’s hot. Then Alice pointed out that they don’t make out and he likes to paint her nails.

Without having a say of his own, his parents packed a bag of his and took him to the house. He didn’t want to be here at all. He just wanted to being his room reading and practicing his magic. He wanted to go to school and be with his friends. Next year Quentin would be off at college. That’s what he wanted to be doing, not this. 

A man came out of the front doors dressed in a blue suit. He was an older male with a neatly trimmed beard and his hair was perfectly sharp. He game them a smile and held out his hand to them.

“Hello! I’m Martin Chatwin. I am the founder of True Directions. This must be young Quentin. How old is he?” he asked.

“Just turn 18.” Quentin’s mother replied.

“Ah! Just before he went off to college. Once they get there, it’s extremely difficult after that liberal brainwashing. Now let’s get you inside hm? Everyone is waiting for you.” Martin gave him a smile before he headed back up to the house.

Quentin turned to his parents to beg them not to do this but his Dad put his hands on his shoulder. “It will be okay. Alright? We’ll come see you at family therapy this weekend.” He smiled as he let him go while his mother gave him a kiss.

Quentin sighed as they left. He picked up his bag and followed Martin inside. The whole outside of the house as well as the inside was loud. Like it was so many bright colors. They went inside Martin’s office and they both took a seat. Martin gave him smile.

“Welcome Quentin. I know this is all very confusing. But your parents sent us here because they want you to get better. And that is what we do here. We want to help you become normal. That is all. Now the others arrived yesterday, so let me catch you up. This is a two month program that works on five steps. So let’s start on the first one, admitting you have a problem. So when you see a guy, slowly stripping his clothes off in the locker room, getting into the shower and cleaning himself or running around wearing shorts that define his gifts, do you have any unnatural thoughts?” Martin asked.

“I don’t think it’s unnatural.”

“Ah-Ha!” Martin smacked the desk which caused Quentin to jump. “You see? You don’t think it’s wrong! Until then,” Martin turned around and picked up a gray pack of clothes with a blue ribbon, “You must wear these. When you admit it, you can wear civilian clothes. Ah! Todd! Just in time!”

As Martin got up, Quentin turned around. A tall, lanky guy kid came in with short, black curly hair dress in a pair of blue shorts, a short-sleeve blue button up with a blue tie came in. He gave Martin a smile. 

“Todd, this is Quentin. He just join us today. Would you be so kind to show him around?” Martin smiled.

* * *

Todd gave him a few minutes to change into the gray sack of shame. Well, that’s what Quentin was thinking it was. It was literally like an oversized pillow case. He felt so embarrassed wearing it that if he saw someone, he curled into himself. Todd led him around, telling him the times when they had to get up and eat, what you could do in free time and even when certain therapy was going to be. He then leaded him to their bed room.

It looked like someone threw up blue everywhere. Like it was scary how blue this was. It also looked like it came out of the 1950s. Who the hell chose the decoration in this place? He noticed a guy on a bed, dressed just like Todd but this guy looked even taller than him. His hair was a dark brown with curls reaching down his face. And his face. It was rugged but had a royal look to it. Quentin couldn’t look away.

“This is where we sleep. But there is no inappropriate behavior allowed.” He said.

“You mean like swearing?” Quentin asked.

“He means like fucking.” The guy smirked which caused Quentin to blush.

“Oh.”

“Yep. If you get caught in the middle of hanky panky, say goodbye to your life.” He waved his hand over his head,

“Don’t mind Eliot. He’s a spoiled brat.” Todd said.

“Then give me a daddy to punish this brat.” Eliot smirked more.

“Gross.” Todd said before he left.

Quentin looked at Eliot once more before he followed Todd out. They came to the outdoor eating area which had a lot of picnic tables. Then he saw the pink board that had everyone’s name on it. Then five rows of boxes. Everyone but his had a gold star beside their name. Todd came up to it and pointed at Step One.

“So step one is admitting your a homosexual. It’s so easy. We all passed yesterday,” He took a step towards Quentin, “I’m a homosexual. See how easy it is? Now the other’s should be gathered to meet you.”

* * *

Quentin now sat in the middle of a room, surrounded by everyone. Todd, Elliot, and this Indian guy with a pissed off look. Then there were four girls. They were all wearing matching pink skirts, button ups, and a sweater. There was one with red hair, another one with brown, one with curly brown hair, then one with dark skin, brown hair, and bored with everything. Then all sat boy, girl, boy, girl. Martin took a seat across from Quentin.

“Alright. Now it’s time for Quentin to meet everybody.” He turned to the first which was the redhead.

She stood up. “I’m Poppy. Animal love and a homosexual.” She said before she sat down. 

Then the Indian guy. “I’m Penny. I like pain and I’m a homosexual.”

The curly hair one. “I’m Kady. MMA Fighter. Homosexual.”

Eliot smiled. “We’ve met.” He said.

“Eliot.” Martin didn’t look happy.

“Fine,” Eliot sighed. “Eliot and I like dick.”

The dark skin girl smirked before she stood up. “I’m Margo and I like clothes and I’m a homosexual.” She sat down.

Todd went with the flow. “I’m Todd and I’m a homosexual.”

Then the last girl stood up. “I’m Julia, student, and homosexual.”

Martin clapped his hands. “Well now it’s time for your first disclosure. Now tell us about the time you realized you might be homosexual?” He said with a smile.

“I’m not. I’m not gay.” Quentin looked at all of them. “I shouldn’t even be here.”

“That’s quite alright. This is a normal place to start. Let’s talk about what mention in your intervention. Hm?” Martin said.

“Um, I like magic.” Quentin said as his hands started to fidget.

They all nodded their head but Margo and Eliot couldn’t help but to smirk and giggle.

“They said I have pictures of guys around. Especially early Siegfried and Roy ones.” He said.

“You think that’s normal?” Penny asked.

“Yeah.” He brushed his hair behind his ear. “Um, I also have a girlfriend who’ve I’ve been with for two years. She’s amazing. She’s smart. And she-”

“Has the biggest tits I’ve ever seen?” He turned to Poppy.

“What?”

“Have you had sex with her?” Margo leaned in as she asked her question.

“No. I don’t want to risk having a kid.” He said.

“It’s easy to be a prude when you’re not attracted to her.” Todd said.

“No. She’s really pretty.” Quentin couldn’t help but to smile.

“Does she give you a boner?” Eliot asked.

“Do you think about her when you...masturbate?” Todd asked.

“What? No! God! I’m a good kid. I keep my grades up. I do magic. I’m like everyone else! I have hobbies. I look at guys. All the time.” He said.

“ You only assume that they're thinking what you're thinking when they look. But they're not.” Kady said.

Quentin sat there as he thought about gym class. How he would look up at other guys when they climbed the rope. Peeking on them in the locker room. How he would wear his shorts all the time when it was too hot and making sure guys could see it. Then it was hitting him.

He was gay.

He. Was. Gay.

“I thought everyone else did... I just want to be normal.” He whispered.

“Then you admit it. You’re not normal.” Poppy said.

“Admit it Quentin. You’re a homosexual.” Martin said.

It took him a few seconds. “I-I-I’m a homosexual.” Then it really hit him.

Saying those words made sense to him. He felt the tears form up in his eyes as he repeated it again. Everything was being zoned out as those words echoed in his ear. He was gay. There was a tinge of guilt for what Alice must have gone through with him not knowing who he was. He started to cry and felt everyone come over to hug him.

“I’m a homosexual.”


	2. Chapter 2

Quentin sat with the others as they are dinner. It was sushi which was impressive. They didn’t have a chief at the facility. It was just Martin and Fae. So he was impressed with this. Feeding a total of ten people by themselves. He looked around and saw Margo and Eliot sitting at the next table by themselves while the others sat with Quentin.

Todd smiled. “You know I cannot wait to be straight. I’ve always wanted to be.” He said.

“You know, it’s nice to talk about it. I couldn’t talk to anyone about it. Not even my friends.” Julia said as she spun her fork. Quentin thought to himself why Julia had a fork with sushi.

“Maybe you had the wrong friends.” Eliot said aloud. They all looked at him.

“Um, maybe we should support one another?” Quentin said.

Eliot started to laugh and he could hear Margo chuckle a bit. “Really princess? Do you want to start the kumbayas?” He asked.

Quentin shifted in his seat a little. It was clear not everyone wanted to be here. Quentin didn’t want to be here himself but it what was best right? After everyone ate and clean their dishes, they were allowed to have a little bit of free time. Quentin just sat with a couple of the others watching TV. 

Around eight-thirty, they were sent to bed. The first night for Quentin was difficult. He lied there, staring at the ceiling as the others slept. The whole room in the gender-boy blue got to him a little. The sheets were stiff and if he tried to move, the comforter didn’t move much. 

Then he started to hear a zapping sound. He looked around and saw a glow appear from under someone’s sheets. Then he heard a moaning sound. What the hell was going on? Quentin slowly got out of his bed and walked over. He dropped down to his knees and pulled the sheet down. He saw Penny lying there, giving him a confused look.

“What the fuck?” He asked.

“Oh, um sorry. It’s just me. Um, what are you doing?” Quentin asked.

Penny held up a black wand looking thing that had a light up red tip. “AV, what’s it to you?”

“AV? What is that?”

Penny sighed. “Aversion therapy stupid.”

“What does that mean?”

“It means when you have inappropriate thoughts about guys, you shock yourself with this,” he hit a button and Quentin heard the buzz, “so every time you think of them, you think of the pain.”

“That’s sick.” Quentin couldn’t believe him.

“No pain no gain. You want to like pussy, you got to train yourself.” He said.

Quentin notice something and reached into his bed. “Hey isn’t this Eliot’s sock?” He asked.

Penny jerked it out of his hand before he pulled the sheets over his head. Quentin sighed before he went back to his bed. Anyone was going to do anything they can to be straight. He curled back into his bed. But it wasn’t till a couple of minutes later when the door open and a light shined on him.

“Quentin, you got a phone call.” It was Martin.

Next thing Quentin knew he was in Martin’s bedroom on the phone with his parents. He didn’t know this was allowed at all. But it was nice to hear from his parents. It helped a bit. Guess he was a bit homesick.

“Hey Quentin it’s mom and dad. We know it’s lights out, but we miss you so much.” His mother said.

“We just wanted to know how our little boy is doing.” His dad said.

He nodded his head. “I’m doing fine. You were right. I am a homosexual. But I’ll be normal soon.” he said.

“That Martin is something right?” His dad asked.

“Yeah. And Fae and the other’s too. I’m going to be starting step two soon.”

“Well that’s great to hear. And with all that money too.”

“We can’t wait to see you at graduation, to have you at home, and to be a family again soon.”

“Just remember we love you. And we do anything for you to have a normal life.”

Just hearing that made Quentin miss them more. He knew this was for the best. He wanted to be normal. He wanted to go home and go to school to be happy. He ran a hand through his hair as he said his I love you and goodbyes. Then Martin escorted him back to the room.

* * *

He didn’t just go through therapy but also classes. Martin worked with the boys and Fae worked with the girls. They went through things like how to repair cars, sports, cutting wood. It was really gender bias. They were learning what men should be doing. Eliot sometimes sat off to the side to make fun of them because he just didn’t want to do whatever they were doing.

Then they had group therapy. They would talk about their experiences and their roots. That was something Quentin didn’t have. He didn’t even know what they were talking about. They all were gathered by their outdoor campfire area talking with Martin. He gave them all a smile. 

“Alright then, who’s left to report their root?” He asked as he looked at Margo. She looked around at everyone before she turned to Martin.

“Shit. I’m not the only who ain’t got no root.” She said as she leaned back.

“Margo, we don’t use profanity or double negatives here at True Directions. Who’s next?” He looked at his clipboard, “Quentin?”

“Um, I’ve been thinking. But I can’t think of anything.” He brushed his hair behind his ear.

Eliot smirked. “I think our little magicians here is afraid to disclose.”

“Oh really?” Quentin turned to him. “What’s your root Eliot?”

“Hey, we’re working on your issues not mine.” He pointed to him as he spoke.

“Actually, it might help Quentin if he heard your root Eliot.” Martin said.

Eliot sighed. “My mom got married in pants.”

“Thank you. Kady?”

“Too many locker room showers.”

“Todd?”

“All boy boarding school.”

“Penny?”

“I was porn in Germany.”

“Julia?”

“My parents let me watch Power Rangers”

“I like dick.” Penny just blurted out.

They were all taken by surprise. “Well thank you for that Penny. See how easy it can bee Quentin? You just have to dig deep down in those painful memories and you will find it. Now today we are going to learn about one of the most wonderful things about being a heterosexual, friendship. So I want you all to partner up and find a friend for the rest of the program.” 

Within a heartbeat, everyone was running to team up with someone. Quentin tried to find someone and all that was left was Eliot. Oh fuck he didn’t want to do this. Not with him. He sighed as he walked over to him and put his hands in his pockets. Martin smiled at everyone and held up a deck of cards.

“Alright. Now that everyone has someone, I want you all to practice with these sometime tonight.”

Each group was given a deck of cards. Quentin took theirs and looked through it. It was all cards of people in different roles. Okay so it was to help them remember what the roles of men and women were. They kept have lessons at the fire pit and Faw brought sandwiches for everyone to eat. Soon, everyone was hanging out by the fire pit as it was going. Eliot and Quentin sat on some hay stacks going over the cards.

“What is this?” Quentin asked holding up a guy mowing the yard.

“It’s a man.” He said.

“And?”

Eliot shrugged his shoulders. “I don’t know.”

“He’s a dad. Men have roles and once you learn that, you’ll stop objectifying them. Have you listened to anything Martin has said?”

“Well have you?”

“Have I what?” Quentin was confused.

“Stopped objectifying them.”

“I’m still looking for my root.”

“Must be hard when you’re such a priss.” Eliot had a smug look on his face as he took the cards. “Your turn.”

He shuffled the cards and held one up. Quentin looked at it. The guy was shirtless. He felt his mouth start to water. But it quickly stopped when he felt Eliot shock him with a AV wand. He chuckled as he pulled out a cigarette and lit it.

“Jesus fuck.” Quentin held onto his leg.

“You really need to be prepared for temptation, Quentin.” He said as he took a drag.


End file.
